Last night, while I was chaperoning my father at the local casino, I was pickpocketed. All she got was my phone and a little cash. I have been mulling over this experience and my emotional response to it most of today while trying to replace my phone. What I have realized is a that I have had a big shift in my attitude about situations like this.
In my 30’s, this would have a very traumatic life experience. I am now in my 50″s and I am certain that my reaction is very different from what it would have been in my younger years. This reaction is somewhat puzzling and yet refreshing to me. At first, I waited to become angry about the mess, but that didn’t happen and still hasn’t. WEIRD In my 30’s, I would have become very angry.
As I dealt with notifying security, I found that I was more frustrated by the lack of concern of casino security than having my phone taken from my back pocket. I thought that I would be angry with the woman who stole from me and would want to literally kick her ass, but nope that isn’t true. I do not have anger or pity for this person. She has made choices in her life that has allowed her to justify this aggressive anti-social behavior she inflicts on people to satisfy her selfish desires (drugs, money, whatever) and I don’t have to bolster her reward system by lashing out at her. Anger is not going to accomplish anything.
I am a little startled by the level of indignant disgust I feel. I am not responsible for her choices in life so I should not have to suffer distress because of someone who does not care what effect their actions has on the person she victimized. To make matters worse I know that as soon as she was moving away from me with my phone she never thought of me again, yet I am still dealing with the after-effects of the brief encounter.
In my opinion, the behavior of thieves is just another manifestation of narcissism. The woman who stole from me does not care how her action created hardship in my life. I get comfort in this situation because I believe in Karma and take it from me Karma is a bitch. Even if the woman gets clean and sober she will experience moments of anguished painful memories of the crappy things she did to people whom she victimized. When people reconnect with their empathy the narcissistic behaviors haunt them. With that being said, after doing what I am supposed to do to report the matter to the authorities, I will wash my hands of the matter and let Karma do her stuff. I am sure that I am no longer in that woman’s thoughts so I will not let her actions continue to victimize me by dwelling on the matter. I will find joy in getting a new phone and look for the silver lining in the situation.